During this time, it is very common for men to feel alone and isolated, especially when facing infertility.
Much of the focus is understandably given to women, however men are often left out of the picture and it’s important to acknowledge our male patients, after all, they make up half of the baby.
Like with Mother’s Day, Father’s Day can bring up a wide range of emotions for couples and the way that it deeply affects men during this time is overlooked.
What are some effective ways to cope with this difficult time?
1. Avoid social media
Scrolling through Facebook or Instagram full of posts and pictures can be quite confronting to not-yet-dads, especially when seeing close friends and family members celebrate.
An option would be to log off social media for the day and concentrate on spending time as a couple, celebrating your relationship.
2. Allow yourself to feel sad
It’s ok to not be ok during this time. It is completely normal to feel that you need to hide your emotions to be that “rock” for your partner, however it’s important that you take the time to address your feelings and find a way to cope.
3. Spend the day doing things you enjoy
Although it can be difficult at this time to find an activity you enjoy that is “COVID safe”, there are options you can find that are both enjoyable and distracting.
Obviously, everyone has different tastes, however if you’re fitness or outdoors type of guy, you can organise a nature walk, treat yourself to a long run listening to your favourite podcast, or set aside some “gym time” whether that be an outdoor session or an online class.
If you are more of a “stay at home and relax” type of guy, set up a virtual games night with friends, relax with casual activities like cooking or reading, or set the day aside to binge watch something you have been wanting to watch for a while.
4. Celebrate your own father or father-like figures in your life
It could be a perfect day to shift the focus onto you own dad or father-like figure to help them feel special.
If you are particularly close to your dad or father figure, arrange a virtual cuppa or drink via Facetime, organise a special parcel to have delivered to their house and spend time talking with them.
5. Reach out
One of the most important things you can do during this time is be kind to yourself.
Allow yourself to feel how you feel and although it is easier said than done, don’t be hard on yourself simply because you feel guilty, sad, jealous, or angry. These are all very real and very normal emotions when you are undergoing fertility treatment and it is important to know that you are not alone on this rollercoaster ride.
Reaching out to a supportive friend or family member or speaking to one of our highly qualified counsellors may help you feel more connected, supported and understood.
