Mother’s Day can be extremely hard for some of patients. It can be a heartbreaking reminder to those who are struggling with fertility and don’t yet have the family they long for.
Unfortunately, there’s no way to avoid this day, so we’ve thought of some suggestions for how you might choose to spend this time, offering strategies to help you cope during this challenging time.
Remember that you’re not alone
It often feels much harder during times like this, and feelings of isolation, of judgement and loneliness can feel so much greater. One in six couples will experience fertility problems in their lifetime and will be feeling a similar pain today.
Joining an online fertility community, speaking to one of our highly qualified counsellors, or speaking to supportive friends and family may help you feel more connected, supported and understood.
Choose to focus on the positives
Some people are able to find and focus on a positive aspect of Mother’s Day. Consider celebrating your own mother, your grandmother, or women in your life who have been of a positive significance to you.
Be prepared
Know that the day is coming and plan how you want to spend it. If spending time with family or relatives seems too painful, set some time aside to mentally rehearse the day in your mind.
Be aware of any triggers that may make your time difficult, and if you feel as though it’s too much, consider making alternative plans.
Plan some fun adult activities with friends that may not be family orientated. Watching a movie, having a casual dinner, or playing with friends at a games night can all be great ways to move past the occasion.
Be empowered
It’s very easy to feel as though you’re losing control of the situation when faced with a difficult fertility journey. Helping yourself to reclaim a sense of control may simply involve doing what you want for the day, such as booking in a massage, opening a bottle of wine and watching Netflix all day, or sweating it out at the gym.
It’s okay to be kind to yourself, and any day of the week you feel you need to, that’s when you should do it.
Realise that it’s okay to feel sad when others are happy
It’s completely fine to acknowledge that it hurts and no one is expecting you to pretend that it doesn’t. Choose someone who can be your support person for the day, and let them know how you’re feeling.
Sometimes the simple act of vocalising how Mother’s Day makes you feel can release a great deal of pain and help you come to terms with your emotions during this time.
For more tips and advice, consider making an appointment to speak to one of Fertility First’s counsellors. Alternatively, for more information and advice about infertility, and the availability of support services, check out Access Australia.
